vexant | ( penance ) inbox

[ welp. he's just gotten the most depressing message of his life. happy one year in hell, joshua! it's not really how he wanted to wake up this morning but it sure is the first thing he actually processes.

the photo of his team is a gutpunch. it hurts so much to see all of them again, realizing he's sort of started to forget the details of their faces. noriko's sharp grin, laurie's shy smile, jay just starting to look like he fits in and he's happy to be there, and david's confident stance.

his own smile maybe hurts the worst. an idiot. totally cocksure. about to fuck it all up.

he scrubs his face, letting out a shaky breath, and leans over to stash it in the bedside table. the drink is something he leaves out... and the offer to get control of his abilities. ]

Jules? [ its too soft. he clears his throat and scrubs at his eyes. ] Julian? You up?

( when he does actually sleep, julian--is a fairly deep sleeper. sure, an explosion could get him out of bed, the school getting torn to shreds to, but josh's voice? is enough to get an irritated grunt out of him as he rolls over onto his side, drags a forearm against the side of his face.

and tries to go the fuck back to sleep. sorry, he'll have to try a little harder than that. )

[ oh come on. its better than being ignored outright.

while julian lazes, he takes a better look at the drink. maybe he should hide it. julian hates his drinking - would also probably hate that he was spinning one and making out with strangers? hm.

he glances at him out of the corner of his eye, sighs, and reaches out to touch his elbow. ]

Dude, come one, I don't ask for much.

( ugh, ughh. there's a touch against his elbow that definitely registers as josh despite how goddamn tired he is. whatever. okay. julian rolls back over onto his back, presses his forearm against his eyes and rubs at them before arching his back to stretch himself out.

letting his body slowly wake up before he turns his head towards josh with narrowed eyes still full of sleep and

purses his lips. )

Hm?

It's my hell-anniversary today.

[ honestly why did he bother waking julian. he's not exactly the most comforting person in the world. talking is his least favorite thing in the world unless its about himself, or like, someone he really hates. ]

Happy Helliversary.

( why was he woken up for this. josh couldn't have waited like another hour? god. here julian was just trying to peacefully get a little more sleep and apparently he's not even allowed that. why does he even bother putting up with josh again?

but if josh is going to be noisy about it he'll just. reach up, wrap an arm around his midsection, and drag him back flat down onto the mattress again. maybe his tired will rub off on josh and he'll go back to sleep, too. )

[ down he goes.

at least the physical contact is nice. his powers are off to the fucking races the moment their bodies touch, giving a burst of warm tinglies as he drops his head down on the pillow. ]

... He gave me some presents and offered me a deal.

( this is the opposite of the sleep he wanted. but fine, julian will settle for some more time to lay down. so he shoves his face into josh's neck, takes a deep breath. )

Yeah? It the kind of deal you want to make with Satan?

I dunno.

[ he loops his arms comfortably around julian, letting one hand cradle the back of his head. ]

Less of a deal and more a gift, I guess... He's offering me more control over my powers.

Is there a catch?

( when did he become okay with cuddling? this is weird. but he's not complaining about it, just throwing a leg over josh's hips and getting himself comfortable. )

Didn't mention one, but that doesn't mean there isn't one.

[ guess he's here now. trapped forever. ]

It's not your power you struggle with.

( soft, mumbled as his eyes close again. )

It's your heart, you idiot.

My heart?

[ just kind of... petting his hair a little. nice and soft. ]

Don't make me explain you to yourself.

( god josh it isn't hard to notice. )

You can manipulate bodies down to their individual cells, your control over that crap's fine. But when something pisses you off or upsets you? That's when shit gets dicey. It's not your power, it's your emotions that ruin it for you.

( with an arm raising to (gently, he's still waking up) slap against josh's ribcage, over his heart. )

Those're what get you into crap every time.

[ he's got a point. ]

I know that.

[ but. ]

I had control before I came here. Real control. Of myself and my powers.

What happened?

( idly, before he shifts his weight over a bit until he's nearly on top of josh.)

[ mm, a nice julian blanket. ]

World went to hell. Then I went to Hell.

( nope, he's sitting up. weight moving onto his knees and arms over josh. )

World was always hell, it just got worse.

[ he rests his other hand on julian's hip, tilting his head to look up. ]

Maybe. But normal hell didn't involve the Avengers defending hate rallies, or like, impending extinction.

Avengers are all pieces of shit, so.

( clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, before he's leaning down a little, until their foreheads touch. )

I want you to fix my hands.

[ his eyes are drifting shut, content.

and then they snap open. ]

Are you sure?

But if you fuck it up, I'm going to be pissed.

( not a direct answer, maybe. but an answer nonetheless. )

[ regrowing a limb is pretty easy, honestly. something he'd be able to do in a snap if he were at full strength. ]

I wouldn't.

Don't give me any extra thumbs.

( it's been over a year since he lost his. he's had a shitton of time to adjust to not having--fleshy hands. julian isn't afraid of josh fucking it up, but he is afraid of figuring out what he's supposed to do when things--shift back to normal. "normal". )

[ he could say a lot to that. how he's touched julian trusts him this much. how he's glad he has him here because everything might suck, but at least he's not in this alone. he could make a joke about how effective julian'd be at hitch-hiking with some extra thumbs.

instead he kisses the corner of julian's mouth. ]

Okay.

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