( it could. josh could fuck up, julian's insides could be even more messed up than before. he could lose more internal organs, more of his arms. or die. or whatever. but here julian is: stepping closer to josh and holding out his arms anyway.
like this is a totally safe thing to do and not going to fuck him over in the slightest. partially because he trusts josh, partially because it's not like his hands can get much worse. they're not there. )
[ he reaches out to touch julian's forearms. it's a gentle touch, the pads of his fingers glowing as he allows his powers to activate and truly suss out julian's anatomy. ]
[ he licks his lips, takes in a breath, and then he's in his element. ]
I'm going to turn off the nerves in your arms. It's going to feel really weird, but it will feel worse if you feel me doing this. Just... breathe, and trust me. Okay? I'll take care of you.
[ It warms his heart. Gives him enough levity to grin a big goofy grin, and then his own eyes are shutting.
There isn't much to see in terms of regrowth. The glow from Josh's power is absolutely blinding, and the power itself is no longer the gentle stream of a young mutant learning their craft - it's a torrent. Precise, powerful, and utterly overwhelming.
Josh carefully constructs from the body's memory. Trying to pull information from where he can, imperfections and flaws, every whorl of his fingerprint, to make sure they're well and truly his and not poor imitations. Its hard. It's an old wound that's long since healed over, something that had always seemed so daunting to him when he'd been younger and faced with Karma's missing leg or the broken bodies of all those who fell on Genosha.
He knows better now.
It feels like it takes hours, but in actuality he doesn't imagine it takes more than a few minutes. ]
( he keeps his eyes closed while the glow continues getting brighter. squeezes them shut even--to try and ignore it. tries his damned best to stay as still as possible even though he knows moving isn't something that's likely to effect it.
the bright glow dulls until it's gone entirely and julian--takes a breath in. slowly, slowly opens his eyes. looks down to where josh has his hands on his arms still. wrinkles his nose at the sight of hands attached to forearms.
[ josh's touch to the new hands is incredibly gentle, holding them delicately between his own. slowly he fires them up. keeping them all carefully numb as he restarts nerves and muscle, doing what he can to ease the transition from phantom limb to solid flesh and bone.
( honestly? weird. he's had--that whole year to get used to not having them. to doing shit without using tiny little bony parts. has adjusted to making sure he gets clothes with short sleeves, that when he goes to do his morning routine he makes sure he's awake enough to focus on it instead of the blind groping around he'd done as a teen.
josh squeezes, and he winces. not because it hurts but because it's weird. fingers twitch, then thumbs. don't grip but-- )
It'll take getting used to. Your body adapted to being without them, so, like... you'll need to learn how to handle them again. I did what I could to bridge the gap, but getting used to having sensation and stuff again - that's gonna come with time.
( his arms still feel normal, even if the hands attached are new. julian--takes in a breath, pauses.
raises those hands up to press palms against josh's face, even if it's a little clumsy and he doesn't quite cup his cheeks as he had been intending to. they rest there instead, pressure soft. )
[ he shuts his eyes, enjoys the sensation. tendons and muscles flexing, nerves sending their feedback to the brain. he should've been there to heal julian to begin with... how long was the recovery process? even if he'd adapted to life without his hands, how long had it actually taken for those wounds to properly mend? let alone the psychological scars that clearly hadn't.
( it's a lot of touching, with things he hasn't touched with for a while. a lot of different sensations, textures. he's--probably going to wrap his hands for a bit, keep himself from getting overwhelmed by it. the phantom itching had been killer before, but the thought of having a spot to actually scratch? also strange.
but instead of saying any of that, julian just leans forward. presses a soft kiss to the corner of josh's mouth. )
[ soft. tender. words he wouldn't ever have thought to describe julian keller with before this stint in hell. maybe it is making them better people - or maybe it's just wearing them down, making them more reliant on the few remnants of home they've got.
if he were a more sentimental person - if julian was, not josh - he'd have told him he's glad that they're here together. that julian's really the only good thing in hell, and he's sorry it took coming here to reconnect. instead he just tilts his head to kiss back, soft and sweet. ]
( it's only soft for a moment. because julian keller isn't soft, he isn't tender, and he'll be damned if he lets josh foley see that side of him often if at all. just for a moment, josh gets it. and then julian's biting into his lower lip hard enough to sting, pulling back and-- )
Get me some med tape, will you? Or like, hand wraps. Something.
[ it's good, it's good. it's good, he's fine. he heads out to go find some medical tape to help with all that new sensory overload. he's going to need to crawl back into bed and ruin all that hard showering work but its a small price to pay to give something back.
give it about ten minutes, then he's waltzing back through the door with tape in hand. he kneels down and offers a hand out for one of julian's own. ]
( ten minutes in which julian spends--pressing his hands against the wall, curling his fingers in, digging nails into his palms before flexing fingers back out and repeating the whole thing all over again.
the pressure is weird. the sensation of skin against skin and skin against--everything else is weird. hell, he didn't--think he'd adjusted to it that much? had assumed that getting his hands back would be amazing, that he'd fit right back into it.
but getting his hands back isn't like riding a bike. it's like--reusing an old method of solving a math problem when you've already figured out an easier, more simple way of solving the problem but the teach says you have to "show your work" in the old, harder way so you do it anyway.
by the time josh comes back, he's got a water bottle in the old prosthetic hand and it's raised up to his mouth, arms down at his sides. he offers over his fleshy hands easy enough, even gives a soft sigh of relief at the feeling of josh's skin against his own. )
There's a reason it takes so long for babies to figure 'em out. Hands are complicated.
[ he's gentle as he wraps them, letting his healing powers wash over them to try to ease some of the sensory overload as he puts a barrier between all that fresh new skin and the world outside. ]
( are you comparing him to a baby, josh. the pressure is--nicer. less room for surprises. julian drops the water bottle off to the side, raises his right hand up to shove fingers through his hair.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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like this is a totally safe thing to do and not going to fuck him over in the slightest. partially because he trusts josh, partially because it's not like his hands can get much worse. they're not there. )
How many limbs have you regrown?
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[ he reaches out to touch julian's forearms. it's a gentle touch, the pads of his fingers glowing as he allows his powers to activate and truly suss out julian's anatomy. ]
Wings, arms, legs, organs...
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( there's no heat behind it. the muscle under josh's fingers--twitches. but doesn't do anything else. julian takes in a deep, steadying breath. )
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I'm going to turn off the nerves in your arms. It's going to feel really weird, but it will feel worse if you feel me doing this. Just... breathe, and trust me. Okay? I'll take care of you.
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because he really doesn't want to even imagine what hands regrowing looks like. )
Yeah. I trust you.
( josh has physical contact with him. there's no tell, no tensing, no twitching--it isn't a lie. )
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There isn't much to see in terms of regrowth. The glow from Josh's power is absolutely blinding, and the power itself is no longer the gentle stream of a young mutant learning their craft - it's a torrent. Precise, powerful, and utterly overwhelming.
Josh carefully constructs from the body's memory. Trying to pull information from where he can, imperfections and flaws, every whorl of his fingerprint, to make sure they're well and truly his and not poor imitations. Its hard. It's an old wound that's long since healed over, something that had always seemed so daunting to him when he'd been younger and faced with Karma's missing leg or the broken bodies of all those who fell on Genosha.
He knows better now.
It feels like it takes hours, but in actuality he doesn't imagine it takes more than a few minutes. ]
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the bright glow dulls until it's gone entirely and julian--takes a breath in. slowly, slowly opens his eyes. looks down to where josh has his hands on his arms still. wrinkles his nose at the sight of hands attached to forearms.
something that shouldn't be foreign but is. )
Ah.
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then he gives them the faintest of squeezes. ]
How does it feel?
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josh squeezes, and he winces. not because it hurts but because it's weird. fingers twitch, then thumbs. don't grip but-- )
Different than I expected.
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[ glances up, his smile gentle and reassuring. ]
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raises those hands up to press palms against josh's face, even if it's a little clumsy and he doesn't quite cup his cheeks as he had been intending to. they rest there instead, pressure soft. )
Thanks.
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he brings his hands up to cover julians. ]
Any time.
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but instead of saying any of that, julian just leans forward. presses a soft kiss to the corner of josh's mouth. )
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if he were a more sentimental person - if julian was, not josh - he'd have told him he's glad that they're here together. that julian's really the only good thing in hell, and he's sorry it took coming here to reconnect. instead he just tilts his head to kiss back, soft and sweet. ]
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Get me some med tape, will you? Or like, hand wraps. Something.
( and he's back to being a demanding asshole. )
Touching feels weird.
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Gimme a second then.
[ He gets to his feet, pausing just a moment to steady himself. that took more than he thought it would. eugh. ]
I'll be right back.
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he--notices josh steadying himself. doesn't comment on it. figures if josh needs help, he'll either ask for it or start to fall on his face. )
I'll be waiting.
( probably still right here, eyes down on his hands as he focuses on trying to figure out how these things work again. )
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give it about ten minutes, then he's waltzing back through the door with tape in hand. he kneels down and offers a hand out for one of julian's own. ]
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the pressure is weird. the sensation of skin against skin and skin against--everything else is weird. hell, he didn't--think he'd adjusted to it that much? had assumed that getting his hands back would be amazing, that he'd fit right back into it.
but getting his hands back isn't like riding a bike. it's like--reusing an old method of solving a math problem when you've already figured out an easier, more simple way of solving the problem but the teach says you have to "show your work" in the old, harder way so you do it anyway.
by the time josh comes back, he's got a water bottle in the old prosthetic hand and it's raised up to his mouth, arms down at his sides. he offers over his fleshy hands easy enough, even gives a soft sigh of relief at the feeling of josh's skin against his own. )
Never realized having hands was so goddamn hard.
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[ he's gentle as he wraps them, letting his healing powers wash over them to try to ease some of the sensory overload as he puts a barrier between all that fresh new skin and the world outside. ]
Better?
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( are you comparing him to a baby, josh. the pressure is--nicer. less room for surprises. julian drops the water bottle off to the side, raises his right hand up to shove fingers through his hair.
can't grip, but the thought is there. )
Yeah.
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[ good. good. he sits down flat on his butt, shutting his eyes a moment. ]
Maybe I can rig up some equipment so we can do some basic physio.
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Yeah, so they're stupid. They don't know anything, therefore stupid.
And don't worry about it, I'll figure it out.
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[ he's not gonna get in an argument about baby intelligence and brain shit that's dumb, stop being dumb josh. ]
Look, man, this is like the one thing I can actually do for you here. Let me worry about it.
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( the hands he actually has, now. still weird. will be weird for at least the next several weeks. but. )
Like grab me snacks
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