it comes with the territory of being continuously blown up. of waking up one morning to screams, to living in temporary shelters while the x-men shuttled around the remaining few kids from xavier's. to being fucked to hell and back both by humankind and other mutants. he's woken up countless times from his own nightmares, and those shared by others from his generation while they tossed and turned and screamed through the pain of reliving countless traumatic incidents.
which means it doesn't take all that much for julian to wake up when things start shaking.
his bed jolts, and his eyes open at the same moment. for a brief period of time, julian thinks - maybe it was just a one off and he should leave it be. except it happens again but worse, and julian's rolling over while also catching his bed, fighting against nate's telekinetic hold to keep it from bouncing around too loudly. there's others in here, after all, and the last thing they need is everyone waking up.
instead, he rolls off his bed with an oof, and - exits his dorm room to make his way into the one next to him without bothering to put a shirt on. he's got pajama pants, that's good enough for now.
there's a few ways one can deal with someone having a nightmare. the worst way is one julian opts not to, because scaring the shit out of an omega level telepath-slash-telekinetic is not a good idea. so as soon as he's in the room, he walks quietly up to the side of nate's bed, and - presses a cold metal hand against the guy's shoulder, gently trying to rouse him out of his slumber. )
( The moment Julian touches his shoulder, his mind becomes aware of another there with him. Eyes snap open ā left one burning bright ā and within the span of a couple short seconds, a heavy punch of telekinetic energy slams into Julian as a means to push him away.
Nate shoots up, breathing heavy and he clutches at the sheets around him, eye still burning and things still floating around the room. It takes him a couple more seconds to realize he's not where he had been within his dream and when he does, everything floating around within the room suddenly drops. Loud and scattered. )
( it doesn't surprise him necessarily, but the strength of which nate's attack comes across is still enough to throw julian off balance. he raises both arms, crossing them over his chest as a green telekinetic shield raises around him and keeps him from slamming his back into the nearby wall when he goes flying. it still hurts a little; the force of his push was hard even if julian managed to keep himself from slamming into walls.
he lands on his ass on the ground across the room, but takes the few moments nate needs to pull himself together to help hold onto everything flitting about the room. not to wrangle control from nate, but to just - keep them from hitting the ground too hard when the other drops them. )
( He knows where he is ā gently recognizes this room. A dreamā¦ it had all been a dream and yetā¦ it felt so real. Looking down to his hands, he stares at them, lifted from the sheets. Heāsā¦ ok. Heās not burning up from within. Heās not about to literally go nuclear and take half the planet with him. It was a dream, thatās allā¦ a dream that maybe is a hint to the not so distant future, given what he knows about himself.
Blue eyes lifting their gaze from his hands, he takes in his surroundings and sees the way things suddenly dropā¦ and thatās when he catches sight of another there. The one who had roused him from the dream ā or had it been a premonition of sorts? ā the one who is very much across the room when he could have sworn he was beside him. )
Julian? ( It dawns on him then what likely happened. Heās already throwing the blankets off him, only in a t-shirt and boxer-briefs. ) Shitā are you ok?
( Even as he asks, heās getting himself out of bed and hurrying over to him amidst the mess., stumbling over some of it in his still dazed yet panicked state. )
( there's an oof when he drops down, but it's nothing terrible. julian can catch himself well enough, even when it's against some omega level telepath-slash-telekinetic trying to force-punch him away in his sleep. that's fine, he's used to that. but given nate was unconscious a few moments ago, julian opts to not get himself back up just yet. he's gotten pretty good at keeping telepaths out when he needs to, but no one wants julian's brain to accidentally turn to mush due to nightmare-induced panic.
nate throws off the blanket, calls his name, and that's good enough of a sign as any to show he's awake enough that he probably won't fuck him up. )
I'm good. ( one hand presses to the ground and he pulls himself up to his knees, then up onto his feet. he doesn't sound hurt or look panicked at all, now that he's actually gotten nate up. ) Just didn't want to freak you out when you weren't fully awake yet. ( it's one thing to be half asleep and trying to push against some unseen being. it's another entirely to have that push back. ) You okay?
( Heās not exactly worried about himself here. Julianās the one who ended up tossed back by his mind. He lingers there near the other mutant ā hand reaching for him only to pull back, and he frowns to him before he thrusts his fingers in his hair, pushing it back. )
Yeah. I meanā¦ Iām not the one who just took an unexpected tumble.
( Sigh on his lips, he drops his hand away to his side and flicks his gaze up to Julian to give him a look over. )
Iām sorry. I didnāt think that still happened.
( His nightmares bleeding over into the waking world in whatever way they feel like. )
( it's difficult to think of a good response that isn't, welcome to the club, we all do the same shit which. isn't untrue, julian's watched over cessily through countless nightmares. has woken up to others having them numerous times. has walked people through them a few times, even, when he was in a place where he could do so. but outright saying that probably isn't very kosher.
so he takes a step forward, into nate's space. presses a hand against his shoulder and kind of - leans his weight on him a little. )
Happens to me, too. ( it's not untrue. julian's just not nate grey. ) But usually mine're a little more pointed, less throw everything around. You want to talk about it?
( Thereās a flicker of guilt there on his face when Julian mentions how he doesnāt throw things ā or people ā around when he has one, but. His hand is there on his shoulder and heās asking him if he wants to talk about it and heā¦ isnāt sure. No? Not really? How does one go about about saying they were dreaming of their potential end and taking out half the planet with them? Maybe itās just his mind screwing with him given the fact that he knows heās on borrowed time. But maybe it isnāt. Maybe heās seeing what happens in the end and all he can do is try and forget when he wakes.
Dropping his gaze, he stands there ā doesnāt want to brush Julian off when he doesnāt need to ask or even be here, but also doesnāt really want to get into the whole My Powers Are Killing Me Slowly thing either. )
My powers are justā¦ too much sometimes. I worry Iām going to hurt others.
( honestly? he could be wrong. but julian's fairly certain he isn't. nate's strong, enough his nightmares could, theoretically, fuck them all up if no one woke him up fast enough. except they're also in a house with others with the same exact skillset and more training to help balance him out. if julian hadn't gotten here fast enough to wake him up, quire likely would have been able to take care of it. ms. grey definitely could have. no one was at serious risk of getting hurt, because it's not as if nate's the kind of asshat who would hurt them as long as he was conscious enough to recognize what he was doing. and, look, julian's fine.
the dorms have two beds each, even if only one in this room has been made. so julian opts to take his hand off of nate's shoulder and sit himself down on the edge of the other one. just - looks at the other guy for a moment, lips pursed like he's considering exactly what he wants to say here. )
As for the question... yeah. He remembers. He always remembers. What he tries to do is forget. But Julian is there on the other bed and he's just... standing there, gaze dropping down as he contemplates whether or not to go into it. Or, how to go into it while being as vague as possible concerning certain details that isn't lying.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he takes a breath and drops his hand away, a glance just barely given to Julian over there from where he stands. )
My powers became too much and I... lost control... taking half the planet with me.
That's not going to happen, here. Not with the rest of us around.
( he can't speak for wherever or whenever nate came from, because - how the hell is julian supposed to know how that's going to go? but he does know that between everyone they've got on planet, there's no way nate's going to just massacre half of them accidentally. )
( it's said - quietly. they'd just been talking about this a bit ago, right? how julian takes crap on because someone has to. but he doesn't leave it sitting, and follows it up with, )
I get nightmares, too. And if I was having a shit one, I'd rather there be someone there for me when I woke up than wake up alone again. You know?
( he's still sitting, even though nate's rolled over onto his side. mostly because this isn't his bed and doesn't have his crap on it. )
( He's usually alone anyways when he wakes from his nightmares, but. He understands what Julian is saying. The few times he's had someone there for him, it's been either Thren or Maddie... and both have ditched him, so.
Falling quiet, he keeps himself there on his side, blue eyes staring across the room. )
if he doesn't stop and think about it, it doesn't bother him. but when he does, julian - remembers all the time he's been there for everyone else, and how when he needed it? everyone else was just gone. it wasn't their fault, their lives are all fucked, but it still - stung.
eyes focus down on the metal hands where they hang loosely in front of him. thinking, for a moment, about how fucked their whole lives are. all of them. why this has to be such a common experience among mutantkind. how krakoa was supposed to fix that only for it to get fucked, too. how fucked it was on the back end, where quire was stuck getting massacred over and over again.
christ. )
What's up?
( he's here, he doesn't have a problem getting asked shit. though the asking if one could ask is definitely suspicious. )
( He tries to find the words to ask what he's thinking about and he keeps those thoughts gently locked behind a door. Just in case. He and Quentin share a connection and all now. )
there's a snort, before he raises his eyes up to look to nate and just. raises a brow at him. )
Dude. I lost my hands when I was sixteen. And even before that, things were kind of crap. I've had girlfriends, and gone on dates or whatever, but - no, not really.
( His expression drops some at that and a sigh leaves him as he lays there. )
Oh. I guess that's good to know.
( Is it? No. It sucks. clearly this is why he grows a beard and bans relationships in the future But at least Julian is honest with him, so. There's that, he figures. )
( which he realizes means absolutely nothing without context, but, )
Unless she directly tells you that she's being serious, that she wants something more out of something, I wouldn't take anything with her even a little bit seriously. She was flirting with and kissing me when we were still back on Aphaia, too.
( Blue eyes flick their gaze over to Julian there and he's quiet ā mulls over the other's words ā before he goes and lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling, arm still tucked behind his head some. )
Does everyone just... sleep with each other then? And it doesn't mean anything?
Honestly? A little bit on Krakoa, yeah. ( which is now dead and that's a whole other mess of bullshit he doesn't know how to get into. ) Like, I don't know what was going on with them, but Scott Summers, Jean Grey, and Logan all moved into a massive house together with them and all their kids and took vacations together. And there were a crapton of bonfire parties where people'd just start going at it, but outside of that? No. Not really.
( he's still coming to terms with krakoa being gone. everyone else here who experienced living there had time back home to cope. julian just - had it all info dumped right into him. )
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it comes with the territory of being continuously blown up. of waking up one morning to screams, to living in temporary shelters while the x-men shuttled around the remaining few kids from xavier's. to being fucked to hell and back both by humankind and other mutants. he's woken up countless times from his own nightmares, and those shared by others from his generation while they tossed and turned and screamed through the pain of reliving countless traumatic incidents.
which means it doesn't take all that much for julian to wake up when things start shaking.
his bed jolts, and his eyes open at the same moment. for a brief period of time, julian thinks - maybe it was just a one off and he should leave it be. except it happens again but worse, and julian's rolling over while also catching his bed, fighting against nate's telekinetic hold to keep it from bouncing around too loudly. there's others in here, after all, and the last thing they need is everyone waking up.
instead, he rolls off his bed with an oof, and - exits his dorm room to make his way into the one next to him without bothering to put a shirt on. he's got pajama pants, that's good enough for now.
there's a few ways one can deal with someone having a nightmare. the worst way is one julian opts not to, because scaring the shit out of an omega level telepath-slash-telekinetic is not a good idea. so as soon as he's in the room, he walks quietly up to the side of nate's bed, and - presses a cold metal hand against the guy's shoulder, gently trying to rouse him out of his slumber. )
Nate.
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Nate shoots up, breathing heavy and he clutches at the sheets around him, eye still burning and things still floating around the room. It takes him a couple more seconds to realize he's not where he had been within his dream and when he does, everything floating around within the room suddenly drops. Loud and scattered. )
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he lands on his ass on the ground across the room, but takes the few moments nate needs to pull himself together to help hold onto everything flitting about the room. not to wrangle control from nate, but to just - keep them from hitting the ground too hard when the other drops them. )
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Blue eyes lifting their gaze from his hands, he takes in his surroundings and sees the way things suddenly dropā¦ and thatās when he catches sight of another there. The one who had roused him from the dream ā or had it been a premonition of sorts? ā the one who is very much across the room when he could have sworn he was beside him. )
Julian? ( It dawns on him then what likely happened. Heās already throwing the blankets off him, only in a t-shirt and boxer-briefs. ) Shitā are you ok?
( Even as he asks, heās getting himself out of bed and hurrying over to him amidst the mess., stumbling over some of it in his still dazed yet panicked state. )
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nate throws off the blanket, calls his name, and that's good enough of a sign as any to show he's awake enough that he probably won't fuck him up. )
I'm good. ( one hand presses to the ground and he pulls himself up to his knees, then up onto his feet. he doesn't sound hurt or look panicked at all, now that he's actually gotten nate up. ) Just didn't want to freak you out when you weren't fully awake yet. ( it's one thing to be half asleep and trying to push against some unseen being. it's another entirely to have that push back. ) You okay?
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Yeah. I meanā¦ Iām not the one who just took an unexpected tumble.
( Sigh on his lips, he drops his hand away to his side and flicks his gaze up to Julian to give him a look over. )
Iām sorry. I didnāt think that still happened.
( His nightmares bleeding over into the waking world in whatever way they feel like. )
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so he takes a step forward, into nate's space. presses a hand against his shoulder and kind of - leans his weight on him a little. )
Happens to me, too. ( it's not untrue. julian's just not nate grey. ) But usually mine're a little more pointed, less throw everything around. You want to talk about it?
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Dropping his gaze, he stands there ā doesnāt want to brush Julian off when he doesnāt need to ask or even be here, but also doesnāt really want to get into the whole My Powers Are Killing Me Slowly thing either. )
My powers are justā¦ too much sometimes. I worry Iām going to hurt others.
( Close enough. )
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( honestly? he could be wrong. but julian's fairly certain he isn't. nate's strong, enough his nightmares could, theoretically, fuck them all up if no one woke him up fast enough. except they're also in a house with others with the same exact skillset and more training to help balance him out. if julian hadn't gotten here fast enough to wake him up, quire likely would have been able to take care of it. ms. grey definitely could have. no one was at serious risk of getting hurt, because it's not as if nate's the kind of asshat who would hurt them as long as he was conscious enough to recognize what he was doing. and, look, julian's fine.
the dorms have two beds each, even if only one in this room has been made. so julian opts to take his hand off of nate's shoulder and sit himself down on the edge of the other one. just - looks at the other guy for a moment, lips pursed like he's considering exactly what he wants to say here. )
Remember what you were dreaming about?
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As for the question... yeah. He remembers. He always remembers. What he tries to do is forget. But Julian is there on the other bed and he's just... standing there, gaze dropping down as he contemplates whether or not to go into it. Or, how to go into it while being as vague as possible concerning certain details that isn't lying.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he takes a breath and drops his hand away, a glance just barely given to Julian over there from where he stands. )
My powers became too much and I... lost control... taking half the planet with me.
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( he can't speak for wherever or whenever nate came from, because - how the hell is julian supposed to know how that's going to go? but he does know that between everyone they've got on planet, there's no way nate's going to just massacre half of them accidentally. )
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( He sighs and goes back to his bed ā flops himself down onto it and just lays there on his side, tucking his arm under his head. )
Sorry for waking you. Won't happen again.
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( it's said - quietly. they'd just been talking about this a bit ago, right? how julian takes crap on because someone has to. but he doesn't leave it sitting, and follows it up with, )
I get nightmares, too. And if I was having a shit one, I'd rather there be someone there for me when I woke up than wake up alone again. You know?
( he's still sitting, even though nate's rolled over onto his side. mostly because this isn't his bed and doesn't have his crap on it. )
You'd do the same for me, if it was reversed.
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( He's usually alone anyways when he wakes from his nightmares, but. He understands what Julian is saying. The few times he's had someone there for him, it's been either Thren or Maddie... and both have ditched him, so.
Falling quiet, he keeps himself there on his side, blue eyes staring across the room. )
Can I ask you something?
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if he doesn't stop and think about it, it doesn't bother him. but when he does, julian - remembers all the time he's been there for everyone else, and how when he needed it? everyone else was just gone. it wasn't their fault, their lives are all fucked, but it still - stung.
eyes focus down on the metal hands where they hang loosely in front of him. thinking, for a moment, about how fucked their whole lives are. all of them. why this has to be such a common experience among mutantkind. how krakoa was supposed to fix that only for it to get fucked, too. how fucked it was on the back end, where quire was stuck getting massacred over and over again.
christ. )
What's up?
( he's here, he doesn't have a problem getting asked shit. though the asking if one could ask is definitely suspicious. )
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Have you been with a lot of girls?
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there's a snort, before he raises his eyes up to look to nate and just. raises a brow at him. )
Dude. I lost my hands when I was sixteen. And even before that, things were kind of crap. I've had girlfriends, and gone on dates or whatever, but - no, not really.
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You don't like them..?
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is he giving off "i don't like girls" vibes.
anole would laugh at him right about now. )
Did Quire put you up to this?
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No?
( Why would he put him up to this? Whatever Julian thinks this is. )
I just... I don't know. Every girl I've ever been with just... doesn't work out. Is that normal?
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( oh.
okay.
well at least he knows how to answer this bit. )
For mutants? Yeah. Like, every damn time I've tried it's turned to shit.
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Oh. I guess that's good to know.
( Is it? No. It sucks.
clearly this is why he grows a beard and bans relationships in the futureBut at least Julian is honest with him, so. There's that, he figures. )no subject
( which he realizes means absolutely nothing without context, but, )
Unless she directly tells you that she's being serious, that she wants something more out of something, I wouldn't take anything with her even a little bit seriously. She was flirting with and kissing me when we were still back on Aphaia, too.
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Does everyone just... sleep with each other then? And it doesn't mean anything?
( Now he's questioning what he had with Thren. )
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( he's still coming to terms with krakoa being gone. everyone else here who experienced living there had time back home to cope. julian just - had it all info dumped right into him. )
The Cuckoos are a special case.
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